The times are treacherous, the passion is fading away, the body is falling to pieces. I reach out to my heart but find emptiness in its place. I don’t know how much longer I can hold my hand above the keys, as my mind slowly tries to make sense of my madness. It’s not curable…i am forced to find a lasting solution. So will my fate be that of my heart or will my mind save me from me?
I only hope time chooses the former, as I have not much reason to rely on the mind. It is overly powerful yet devoid of path. It knows yet doesn’t love, it survives yet doesn’t live. I cannot go to bed with it, I hope to sleep with the comforting beat of my heart, but tonight I go to bed without a solution.
Only Words can understand how I feel. Words are jealous, Words denied me any other lover, they made sure I had nothing but contempt for any other opportunity that passed before me. Each time I almost committed to some other trade, Words reminded me how far we had come and why I couldn’t just jump ship. I wish not to further engage with them for today, how I loathe them, they are the reason for my madness.
I trusted them so much, with my life, my livelihood, but they don’t so much as show a real sense of interest in me. Are they messing with my heart only to leave me for someone else? Today I will question Words and know what they have to say. It’s been long and I demand to know where this relationship is headed and I refuse to be held ransom.
I have been at their every beck and call. I have often left serious matters unattended and given audience to their whispers, I admit they have often caused me great pleasure, pleasure I had never known before, the kind I am fully aware no other can offer, but will I eat this pleasure?
Duty calls, but Words ,remember, I am waiting for your reply.
Mwamburi Maole AKA George Smith (on face book)