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It was only this morning that I was called to an interview that would change my whole perspective towards life. It was one that threatened to break the very “laws” that I have lived by all along. It was at the table of privilege that I learnt a certain truth. The privilege being the fact I was seated across a table that consisted of five panelists, among them renowned fashion Journalist and editor of the Drum magazine, Carol Odero. Also present was media professional and editor of Home and Living magazine, Pinky Ghelani. Just how many starting writers get the privilege of being interviewed by these two talented beauties?

As the questions got hotter, my responses started turning out as “shooting myself in the foot” as one of the panelists called it, and so I decided on what I thought was the perfect fall back mechanism. I told the panel, that I would work with any of the three magazines currently being published by the organization. I however forgot that I was contradicting my earlier statements, in which I almost swore I had no interest in one of the three. At the moment of feeling that an opportunity of a lifetime was eluding me, the statement was befitting, but instead of saving the sinking ship, it caused a bigger puncture in the vessel, the puncture of indecisiveness.

As I walked out of the interview, I kept cussing silently as I felt I had made a fatal error. Not only did I come out as indecisive, but also showed interest in something I knew too well was not one of my areas of interest. If I were to get that position, my artistic abilities would be put to an unkind test, so to say and I would have lost the very experience I wanted from the internship in the first place.

 I realized one special fact of life. “Know what you want and to stick to it, after all half a loaf is not always better than none”.

Before the interview, I always felt that I should be open to any opportunity that comes along my way, now I know better. I know that when you decide on something you should at the very least try to stand by it. I also realized that there are two situations in life that though different in nature both cause a manifestation of an indecisive character. The first of the two situations is when you are presented with many opportunities that you lose sight of what you wanted in the first place. The second is when you feel like opportunities are eluding you, such that you are forced to take whatever is placed before you.

Allow me for the sake of the above argument to use the analogy of a man who is looking for a wife and fortunately finds a lady with whom he falls in love with. He later realizes that other women are available to him, thus ending up spoiled for choice. The same would apply to the man who finds a lady and falls in love with her, once he loses her, he decides to settle for any woman that comes along. Readers, the kind of open mindedness where you think you are supposed to leave your options open is not the kind of mindset that is required at the work place. It is also certainly not the one you should possess once you have searched and found the person you intend to spend your life with.

As Carol Odero picked me out for my indecisiveness, I could see the disappointment in her eyes and wished for a second I could eat my words. Yet still as the panel hasn’t given me their final decision, I am more resolved than ever to prove to them that I am decided in what I want. I will stick with my initial decision to work with Drum magazine, hoping that they have not yet axed me from their list of potential interns. I will send them this article in the hope of a consideration, and for that one panelist called Paul who told me he felt I was more of a businessman than a writer. Hope this article paints me in a different light Paul, what do you say?

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